Engaging in make-up sex is not inherently bad for the relationship—but it should be paired with at least one other form of reassurance. In fact, when talking about couples that engage in make-up sex, Julie says they may actually need verbal reassurance or some kind of physical touch reassurance that doesn’t involve the bedroom.
Long story short: Sex is not off the table entirely, but it shouldn’t be the only form of apology or reassurance. So either before or after you hop in bed and start having sex, use other words and actions to remind your partner that you love them.
For even more connection, cuddle afterward. John references one study that looked at 70,000 people across 24 countries (detailed in the book The Normal Bar) and identified common patterns between couples who self-reported great sex lives and those who didn’t.
One of the findings? “Of the couples that didn’t cuddle in all those countries, 96% of them had an awful sex life. Only 4% of the non-cuddlers had a great sex life,” John notes. Suffice it to say, cuddling may be just as important to your sex life as the act itself, both for reconciliation and a healthy sex life in general.